Change can be stressful for a toddler, especially something that changes their world as dramatically as having a new sibling. Fortunately, we are given 9 months to prepare for such a life changing event. Your toddler’s reaction to a new sibling will depend, on part, on their age at the time they become a big brother or a big sister.
Younger toddlers have the advantage of quickly being able to forget life before the new baby arrived and can make the transition quite easily. The down side is they are less likely to understand why mom has to stay at the hospital for a few days and why she may not be up to playing the way she normally does while she recovers. Friends and family can help by spending time with your toddler and making the first few weeks with a new baby a little easier for them by taking them out of the house to do fun things.
Older toddlers and preschoolers can be prepared emotionally before hand by talking about what life with the new baby will be like and by reading books about becoming a big brother or a big sister. Older toddlers may enjoy being part of the process of preparing to welcome a new baby. They can help by putting things away in the nursery and picking out new things for their new siblings.
A sibling gift can help an older sibling not feel overlooked in the excitement that surrounds the arrival of a new baby. Watching the new baby receive gifts from family and friends can be frustrating for a toddler who loves to receive gifts. A small toy or book can help an older sibling feel a part of the celebration and not be frustrated by the gifts that the new baby is receiving.
Do not start talking about the new baby too early. Time moves slowly for toddlers and they may become frustrated or loose interest if parents make a big deal about a new baby early on in a pregnancy. Some parents choose to wait to talk with an older sibling about a new baby until the risk of miscarriage is lessened in order to spare a young toddler from feeling the loss of a baby.
Read books about becoming a big brother or a big sister with your toddler. Reading books about a new sibling normalizes the process for toddlers. They may enjoy discussing their feelings about the book and about becoming a big brother or big sisters after reading the book. Some good books to help toddlers understand what it will be like to have a new baby in the house are, My New Baby, Waiting for Baby, and The New Baby.
