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How you discipline your children should depend on their age and development. Children's comprehension level is not always the same throughout their childhood.
Disciplining your children can be a controversial subject and your practices may be open to criticism from well-intended friends and family. No matter what anyone says you must discipline your children in a way that feels comfortable to you. Here are a few guidelines that are age-specific. Infants (Birth to 12 Months) Providing infants with a schedule around feeding, sleeping and play will help regulate automatic functions and provides the infant with predictability, which will make them feel safe. Infants should develop some tolerance to being frustrated and should also have the ability to self-soothe. For infants, it is not recommended that discipline come in the form of time-outs, spanking or consequences. These forms of discipline will only confuse and infant and may cause trust issues. Early Toddlers (One year to Two years) This is the stage where your child will begin to experiment with their world and their capability to exercise their own will against others. Discipline will be necessary at this time to ensure the child’s safety, limit aggression and prevent destructive behaviour. Removing the child from the situation with a firm “No” or another very firm verbal explanation, “No, hot.” Then introduce your child to another activity which is more suitable. You may want to stay with your child to supervise that the behaviour is not continuing and to reassure them that you are not withdrawing love. Toddlers of this age are very vulnerable to fears of abandonment and should not be in time-out away from the parent. Children of this age are also too young to understand verbal disciple, therefore, it will be unreliable. Late Toddlers (Two years to Three years) Your growing toddler will become more temperamental during this stage of development. In turn there will be more outbursts as they realize their limitations through their struggle for independence and self-assertion. Toddlers are still unsure of how to express their frustration and parents should realize this and have empathy. At the same time, you should still supervise, set limits and have realistic expectations of your toddler’s achievements. If you are aware of your child’s pattern of reactions it is easier to predict and prevent a situation in which their temper will flare. When a tantrum is occurring it is best to remove the child from the situation and environment in which the tantrum is happening. Redirect the activity and give your toddler some brief verbal instruction and reassurance. Preschoolers and Kindergarten-age children (Three years to Five years) At this age your child is beginning to accept limitations and be self-reliant for their immediate needs. On the other hand, they have not internalized many rules, are gullible and do not have sound judgement. They thrive on good behaviour models in the adults around them and consistency is a key, not only with the child’s parents but with any adults who care for the child. Time-out may be used if your child loses control; usually one minute per year of age is appropriate. Redirection and small consequences that are related to and immediately following the misconduct may also be used. At this stage, approval and praise are the biggest motivators for good behaviour. School-age children (Six years to 12 years) Children of school-age tend to act more independently because they can now choose their own friends and activities. Parents should continue with supervision and providing a good role model for behaviour. Acceptable forms of discipline for this age group would be withdrawal or delay of privileges, consequences and time-outs.
The copyright of the article Disciplining Your Children in Infants & Toddlers is owned by Tanya Campbell. Permission to republish Disciplining Your Children in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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