There is no cure for the terrible twos but you can make it easier on yourself and your child.
If you have a child who is 18 months to three years old, you are probably very familiar with the "terrible twos." This is an important stage in your child's development and though unpleasant, cannot be avoided. Here are a few ways, however, to help you survive with your sanity intact.
Embrace the Independence
Sure, it's easier said than done, but if you can celebrate the cause of the terrible twos, you may be better equipped to deal with them. Children in this stage have developed their own independence. They have discovered that they can do things on their own and that they have their own opinions. It is when this independence is challenged that things become "terrible."
Acknowledge Tantrums, but Only Briefly
Temper tantrums generally occur when things don't go the way the child wants or expects them to. He expects a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and when he gets tuna instead, he becomes frustrated and a tantrum ensues. Acknowledge the tantrum but stay firm (e.g. "I know you're upset because you wanted peanut butter but we are having tuna today."). Then drop the issue entirely. If the tantrum persists, simply walking away will send the message that he cannot always get what he wants by throwing a tantrum.
Offer Choices
During the terrible twos, you will find that "no" is your child's favorite word and he will use it often. Therefore, give him fewer chances to use it. Instead of asking, "Do you want to get dressed now?", give him choices: "Do you want to wear your red shirt or your blue shirt?"
Along with his newfound independence, your child will also become insatiably curious. Everything in your home will give him an opportunity to explore - and he will! That makes this a very important time to childproof your home. But don't just put things out of your child's reach - replace them with things he can play with.
Establish Routines
If your child knows what he can expect, he is less likely to expect things that you can't or won't deliver. If you have not already done so, establish routines for naptime, mealtimes, bedtime, and any other regularly occurring activities. In addition to reducing frustration for your child, you are also instilling in him a sense of stability that will make him feel safe and secure.
There is no complete relief for the terrible twos but with a little effort and a lot of patience, you and your child will make it through this trying time.
